The Tenth Circle of Hell

In the early part of the 14th Century Dante wrote his Divine Comedy detailing his travels though Heaven, Purgatory and Hell. In his cantica Inferno he travel through nine circles of Hell.

According to Wikipedia:

Allegorically, the Inferno represents the Christian soul seeing sin for what it really is, and the three beasts represent three types of sin: the self-indulgent, the violent, and the malicious.[12] These three types of sin also provide the three main divisions of Dante's Hell: Upper Hell (the first 5 Circles) for the self-indulgent sins; Circles 6 and 7 for the violent sins; and Circles 8 and 9 for the malicious sins.

I am certain if Dante were to be living in modern times he would have included a 10th circle—Meijer in Fruitport on a Saturday afternoon.

Meijer, founded in Grand Rapids, Michigan in 1934, is a regional superstore thought to be the original big box. In fact, at one point it’s official name was Meijer Thrifty Acres. Indeed, at 2:00 in the morning one can purchase a live lobster, jumper cables, a DVD and some Swedish Fish in bulk. I have spent many hours entertaining myself in aisles of that store.

Saturday afternoon, I ventured out to do some grocery shopping. Soon after I entered the store I began to wonder if my mom didn’t warn me as some sort of punishment.

Three words sum up the experience. Hell on Earth.

I now understand why there is a waiting period for Guns as I may have gone to the hunting aisle, purchased one and opened fire.

People seem to think grocery shopping is a group activity. In almost every aisle a family of four would stop—in such a manner than no one can get around—and have a debate on what kind of potato chips to buy.

I suggest steel toe boots if one must go to the Fruitport Meijer on a Saturday. The store is full of people who are asleep at the cart.

I found it easier to navigate my way through the aisles with healthier or ethnic food as they were like ghost towns while the soda and cookie aisle should be avoided at all costs. Really, I think the town of Fruitport keeps the soft drink industry in business. The produce aisle is pretty open too.

If at all possible limit the items you purchase as 75% of all the shoppers had enough items in their cart to feed a small Asian family for a month.

Before I exited the store, I stopped at the Chase Bank to open an account. When I told the banker to be sure to attach a savings account he replied, “You clearly are not from around here. No one here saves.”

Signing out on my first blog from Fruitport. Sorry no pictures but I was in the trenches.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meijers