Drama Divas by in the Sun

As you might have detected, I love observing people. This habit has been bringing me joy for over a decade. I think it began when I was in Playwriting Class and one of my assignments was to keep a journal for the whole year; alas, one can only write so much about oneself so I turned to coffee shops and the quad for material.

Later, while I was still living in Chicago, I discovered the North Avenue Beach in the summertime to be a hotbed of material to watch. Stumbling distance from Castaways, the Tug Boat Bar, with a blue mat stretching from the sidewalk to the water serving as a catwalk parading all humanity has to offer. Women in bikinis that should not be, old overweight men in Speedos, mullets, you name it the beach had it all.

I frequented that location and witnessed a lot of things and remember very few; yet, I will never, and I mean NEVER, forget the day I laid next to Amy. This cute, slender, twenty four year old, woman will forever live in my memory. Oh, and she was loud. And drunk. What I mean to say is she had recently broken up with her boyfriend, Henry, and proceeded to go on a three-day bender. Said another way, she had not been sober since Friday, which was 72 hours earlier. With no apparent commitment to sobering up anytime soon, she drank mimosas out of her water bottle.

Perhaps, you can understand why I always remember her.

Watching her, and her two less distraught female companions, was like a car wreck, you had to gawk.

While, I was tanning she vacillated from wondering if she get together with the two men she met on her way from the cab to the beach as they had a boat to sobbing, closer to keening, about Henry. I still remember the phrase, “How could Henry break my heart?”

Admittedly, I do not know Henry’s reason from dumping Amy; however, maybe because she is a mess.

Today, I witnessed something akin to the Amy incident.

Walking to the pool to set down my stuff prior to going to the store when I see a cute brunette in a leopard print bathing suit laying in a chaise while talking to a man in a suit with his bluetoothe in his ear. I overhear enough to know they were arguing.

Upon my return from the store, I see the suit in the parking lot lingering by his vehicle.

Back to the pool the brunette is readjusting her chair. I glance over and notice two things. She is wearing bracelets. Plural. To be exact one beaded bracelet two inches thick and three bangles. I am too concerned about tan lines to accessorize. Also, her breasts, even while in they laying position, look like grapefruit.

Soon I hear the song Angel by Areosmith. Is she paying the radio? I look over as she answers the phone, “You walked away from me we are done. Over. Done.” She then proclaimed that either she or the person on the other end had two kids and they needed to be the priority. And work. “What? Where are you? Where? Where are you?”

Citrus Chest then grabs her large Louis Vuitton bag, which I am sure is as real as her grapefruits, puts on her brown sundress, leather flip flops, grabs her towels and exits the pool.

Ah, wish that phone conversation lasted longer.

Ten minutes later she returns and settles in again.

Five minutes I hear Areosmith seeing her press the ignore button. Long enough for the suit to leave one she checks her messages. Packs up her bag, puts on her dress and shoes, grabs her towel and departs.

Only to return to her chair again about ten minutes later.

Somewhere between three to five minutes later I hear, “You’re my Aannggeell.” Oh, she is going to answer this time. “What?”

For the third time she packs up and leaves.

Apparently it was a three-act play because she did not return.

People do break up. And it is heartbreaking. Doing it or dealing with it in public is drama. Again, I do not know what happened in either relationship but I can say from watching the actions and being of these women my sympathies go to the men. Though, I suspect the boyfriends add their special flair to the drama.

As a side note, the woman who took her chair had breasts the size of cantaloupe which were in proportion to her body where she had the Star Wars logo and opening crawl tattooed on her back and her melons snuck out from the bottom of her bikini top.

I think drama is for entertainment purposes only. What do you think? What do you think of my people watching? What do you think of having a breakup or the aftermath in public? What do you think of Amy? Of Grapefruit Girl? Of Cantaloupe Chica?