The Sacred Art of Self Nurturing

This weekend I participated in the workshop Celebrating Women, Regarding Ecstasy and Power, informally known as the Queen Course; a follow up to the Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women course I took at the end of March.

As you may recall from my blog, “I am not the Better Man now What?” I have been grappling with what does it mean to be feminine. This workshop provided, if not absolute answers, a direction to turn on my new journey.

As with several courses, various topics were covered but what has stuck with me, as well as alter my life, was in the realm of meeting needs. Women have many requirements which we frequently neglect as we take care of ourselves after everyone and everything. So much so that we may not even know what we need. Ladies, think about it, when was the last time you thought about or articulated your needs?

Simple things like sleep, water, exercise and eating will get ignored in the day to day of life. Men, you may be surprised to know that women wait until the very last possible minute to take care of primary things like lunch or going to the bathroom.

However, if we are not taking attending to our needs we are of no use to anyone, Men, given their genetic make up, can run on fumes; however, this does not work for women. Case in point, after a year and a half of giving all of myself to my job while ignoring diet rest I found myself extremely anxious. The first thing I altered what my sleep habits. I demanded of myself and my environment that I got eight hours of sleep a night. Almost immediately I found myself calm and centered. I now know I am absolutely useless if I do not slumber for 7 hours and 45 minutes a night.

What shocked me most in the workshop was how much I neglect my grooming needs. As I have previously stated, I used to work between 70-80 hours a week. I was lucky if I got laundry done let alone haircuts, color, brow waxes and the like. Things that I was ritualistic about fell by the wayside. What was always a 6-week recurrence became a 12-week luxury that sometime occurred in the break room of my workplace. After every haircut I would thank my Hairdresser, Jill Vaughan (Salon Ambiance in Huntington Beach, CA), for making me look pretty again.

Forget about any skin care regime or other forms of pampering. I had results to produce.

So yesterday, following the workshop, I joined friend, Holly Noble, to a Mary Kay meeting. She informed me upfront that I was not required to buy anything or became an associate; however, I must be willing to have fun and put on cosmetics. Not a problem. I sat and learned that Mary Kay’s facial scrub and moistening lotion are cheaper than the Neutrogena products I buy at the drug store. I refreshed myself on the makeup lessons I learned when I hosted a Mary Kay Party when I was 19. I found out how long it takes to get a car and that Mary Kay. At the completion of the evening, I was given the opportunity to give a 30 second advertisement on a product of my choice. I spoke of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women. I then went on to purchase the Miracle Package—my first skin care regime of my adult life. Suddenly, I found myself taking care of a need.

Followed by today, I went to Salon/Spa Ambiance for a simple haircut. I arrived at 11:40. I left at 4:45. What started out as a shampoo and a trim ended up being a pedicure, hour-long massage, brow wax, and mini facial. Said another way, I inadvertently enjoyed a spa day. For the first time in my life.

Hair and pedicures are requirements the rest was pure nurturing.

First, the massage. I tried to remember the last time I had one…but I cannot. It has been at least five years. What I can recall is I was such a control freak back them that it was more like a resistance exercise with a personal trainer. Today, I reveled in the breakthrough of being able to surrender my body to the hands of the therapist. Only once, when she was working my right triceps did she have to tell me to relax. In short, it was pure bliss.

Now the facial, I have only ever had one before today. Unlike, the massage, I remember it vividly. Summer 1996 at the now defunct Grand Experience Day Spa (located off of Michigan Avenue on Delaware) performed by Ewa the Polish Estition, she gave me an acne facial which resulted in every pour on my face swelling. Some people refer to facials as relaxing…me not so much. I never ever ever wanted to pay for that again.

I avoid brow waxes for one reason; I do not want them to tell me I need a facial. They might as well say, “you have acne.” A fact of which I am painfully aware and do not need to pay someone to tell me. Yet, today when Katherine spoke to me about getting one I was inspired. Like she might be able to help. I took a leap of faith in an area of life where I had been resigned (my skin) for the second time in 24 hours. After all I had invested in the Miracle Package I it owed Mary Kay (and Holly) to provide a clean canvas for it to perform.

Prior to the Queen Course I would never have given myself the gift of a spa day. Too much time, too much money and too indulgent would have been my reasons. However, now I know that not only am I worth it; moreover, I am nothing without having my grooming needs met.

So a BIG shout out to Jill Vaughan, Sopi and everyone at Salon/Spa Ambiance for providing this Queen with exactly what she needed. As well as to the Unstoppable Holly Noble at Mary Kay. You gals’ rock!

Ladies, where can you see you are neglecting your needs? Men, I know you could read this as a “girl thing” yet for the sake of your mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends and daughters encourage a woman to pamper herself and see what opens up. You might be surprised.

In the meantime time please check out the following:

www.marykay.com/hnoble


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