Be a Man: Part Two

The other day, I was sitting at the pool talking with a friend of mine. She had recently received full physical custody of her 5 year old; also, the judge ordered that the father of said child spend more time with his daughter as he rarely called or initiated visitation. Sunday, three hours prior to the court arranged pick up, he texted to inform his ex he wouldn’t be able to take care of their daughter this week. A Man is takes care of his children. Said another way, Men father their children.

In my blog BE A MAN: PART ONE I wrote, “Men--real, healthy men--want to provide for and protect woman. Not just their wives, girlfriends, sister or daughters but all women. I heard a man say today, ‘A real man will drop everything and be there for you. Please give me space to be what I instinctively want to be.”

The way a Penis Person fathers speaks volumes in communicating if he is a Man or a “Not Man.” Men father while “Not Men” donate sperm and—perhaps--have play dates with their offspring.

Examples of “Not Men” donating sperm run rampant in both divorced and married families. The guy who puts his new girlfriend or wife before the welfare of his child is a “Not Man.” The guy who does not step and provide is a “Not Man.” The guy who does not spend quality time with their children is a “Not Man.” Yet, all of this is ignored, if not accepted, by society. We, men and women alike, must stop tolerating this from anyone. True, calling someone on their bad behavior can be uncomfortable; however, as cliché as it sounds, children are the future.

I ran into a boy who had just been grounded for three months. THREE MONTHS. Curious, I inquired as to what he did to be grounded the better part of summer. Drinking? Pot? Curfew violation? No, he gave his mom his dad’s cell phone number. What the hell is wrong with people?

Guys, once you make a baby you will—NO MATTER WHAT—be intertwined with the mother of said child. If, for whatever reason, you part ways you still need to interact. Resisting it or being shitty about it only makes your child suffer. So be a man and protect and provide for your child including making nice with their mother.

Ladies, if you are involved with a man who has a child partner with them to make sure they are a good father. Would you want him to treat your child that way? If the answer is no then the next question should be, “Why are you with him?” Their child should be their number one priority.

I have dated men with children in the past. Their dedication to their children is part of the attraction. It proves to me that they are men. Take a moment and acknowledge the great fathers in the world.

Poo in the Pool?!?

My friend frequently says, “Your health is given by the water you swim in.” He is referring to the quality and vitality of ones environment and community; however, this statement was brought home this weekend in a much more literal sense. What does one do when they find poo in their pool? Literally? Poo? In the Pool?

Perhaps I should back up a little bit. Oh, how far to go?

Ok, on Sunday afternoon three other neighbors and I were lying out and, by our accounts, were the only residents at a pool inhabited by a gaggle if Children. Said another way, everyone else was crashing.

The interlopers splashed and played while their parents paid them almost no mind. In fact, I witnessed some of the worst parenting ever.

Monday, on my way to the mailboxes I noticed our pool surrounded by yellow caution tape. Huh? What’s that about? Returning to my apartment, I asked the maintenance man what happened to my pool. After some joking around he said, “Some little kid did their business in the pool.”

In other words, they found a turd floating in the pool on Monday morning.

Yep.

At first I thought some little kid, too excited to get out, relieved him or herself in the pool. Later it was pointed out, much to my relief, the turd probably slipped out from some kids Huggies. Apparently, they make special swim Pamper’s for that very reason.

According to the maintenance man, he has found three turds in twelve years.

Initially I was grossed out by this fact; however, I remembered my friend who was a lifeguard in the elite Irvine, Woodbridge Community where they employed a Poo Pay Policy.

Whenever feces is found in one of their twelve pools they must shut down the whole community and heavily chlorinate the collection which cannot be re-opened for 4 hours. If the shit sighting occurs at about noon everyone would get a really long break; whereas, if the poo peaking happened around 3:00 they would get sent home with pay.

According to my source, “The Chance of Poo was high.” Early and mid summer they average one sighting a week; yet, near the end of the summer as the end of the season neared—as the lifeguards grew ballsy and wise—it could happen once a day. He went on the expand, “and that is only the poo we knew about.”

Knowing that so many parents do not tend to their children’s diapers disturbs me. To my knowledge, a renegade crap never escaped my Luvs. If you are going to allow your kids to swim in my pool, or any pool, pay attention to them and their business.