If you think I am mean now just read

I told a coworker the other day that I used to be a really big bitch. She responded, “Used to be?” I said this is nothing.

My nastiness has invoked my entire family to not talk to me for a week. Literally, my mom and dad screened my calls.

Yep, for those of you who have not known me long, met me since I moved to Orange County, this is nothing. As evidenced recently, I was speaking with my boyfriend and we were talking about emasculating men and he said you are not nearly as big of a bitch as you used to be (he didn’t use the word bitch but rather cruder word but this is a family blog). I inquired if he missed it and he said not so much.

So what is different? I used to be a bitch for all the wrong reasons. I was a bitch so I could protect myself. I was a bitch so I could look good. I was a bitch so you wouldn’t find I out I was a fraud. I was a bitch so you would be afraid of me. I was a bitch so I could get what I wanted. Mostly, I was a bitch because I could be.

For the last few years I have frequently been in a state of examination and evolution. I took a job that demands that I be great with people…. by people I mean everyone not just coworkers and customers but the server at Starbucks. I also moved to California and had an opportunity to reinvent myself. Paramount to the above mentioned reasons, I have reached a point in my life where being a bitch is not what I am committed to anymore. I almost typed that it doesn’t serve me anymore but that is not exactly accurate. I am more committed to loving people and making a difference with them. Occasionally I occur as a bitch however now when it confused with my purpose. Now when I appear bitchy it is usually because I am being straight with someone and they do not like what they hear, or I am blunt, or I do not have the time or inclination to deal with someone’s BS, or I hold them to account, or I am more committed to them that they are to themselves. If that is being a bitch…then I consider it being one for all the right reasons.

Tonight, people were talking to me and thanking me for the love I have provided them. It affirmed for me that my intended result is being produced. If I have to be appear as a bitch then amen!

I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to apologize to the people whom I was a bitch to for the wrong reason. So for sure anyone who knew me from say 1974-2008 I am sorry. A special shout out to my family and boyfriends as they really got the worst of it.

So, this entry could open a can of worms. You could comment to tell me what I bitch I have been to you. Bring it on! More importantly, I am interested in your thoughts about being a bitch in honor of something or the misunderstood bitch.