I have a complaint about people complaining. I fully understand and appreciate the irony of that statement; yet, will proceed with my train of thought regardless.
In general I surround myself with people who are skillful at keeping present for themselves an empowering context; thus, I have limited exposure to people who constantly complain. However, last weekend I encountered people who find fault about the most mundane things such as traffic, parking, and lines at the coffee shop. At the end of the day their gripping exhausted me. Therefore I spent the week observing complaints. The result, some people will nitpick about anything robbing themselves and all those around them of vitality.
The things about which some people will grumble amaze me.
In life there are problems, inconveniences and breakdowns. That is what is so. Traffic, flat tires, parking meters, disagreements, weather, and the like exist and resisting or complaining about them is futile.
In the mid 1990’s my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I am—to this day—inspired by how she handled the situation from beginning to end. Through a partial radical Mastectomy, chemotherapy and a year of medication she never once complained about the disease or the effects of the treatment; in fact, to this day she dislikes the Y-Me complain because it turns cancers patients into victims—and besides Y Not Me? No one deserves cancer.
In a recent trip to Chicago, a friend and I returned to her house to discover her car had been stolen. After taking the necessary steps—reporting the vehicle missing—we went out for a few pints. Later when the car was located stripped and burned she was able to find the humor in the incident.
Also, I am reminded of ever inspiring Anne Marie Schlekeway as she battles with ALS. When asked if people’s petty protests perturb her given her condition she simply states, “I wish they would get a bigger problem.”
This week my beloved pool was closed due to much needed repairs. Initially I was at a loss as to what to do with myself; alas, I utilized as an opportunity to catch up on those “rainy day activities” as well as get out an enjoy the beach.
I am not advocating complacency. If something is unworkable or a crisis do something about it—stop complaining and communicate in a way that can make a difference. But bitching for the sake of bitching is unnecessary.
If you are addicted to complaining, take a moment and ask yourself, “Is this a problem worthy of my time and energy?” If the answer is no then it might be best to keep your mouth shut.
As stated earlier, I understand the irony of the blog. I am interested in your input.
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When people have small lives, they have small complaints. People who feel powerless in their lives grasp the only power they think they have; complaining.
ReplyDeleteReal power comes from knowing you can transform any situation at any time. Nobody is stuck with their circumstances, once you realize you're choosing them, you can choose another.
I work in an environment where this phenomena is rampant. Everything is "OK" or "fine" and and "it is, what it is."
Bleh!
I stand for people to take actions (like getting their butts into the Landmark Forum) that will empower them rather than listen to their complaints.
Some people just seem happiest being upset and complaining.
It's their choice. I try to make it an authentic one.