Topless in Costa Mesa

The other day, I concluded I was bored with the pool. First of all, it has been too hot to really enjoy any time in the sun. Second of all, the crowd has been disappointedly lame. However, I have been tending to my neighbor’s girls and they have not grown discontent from the pool. So today I begrudgingly escorted them for their daily swim. Upon entering I witnessed a woman whom heretofore occurred as a benevolent. I took my usual seat while the girls frolicked about the water. Eventually, the previously tame woman was talking to Aubrey and Liana. Keeping my eye on them it becomes evident that this lady, in addition to chatting with the kids, is engaging in a full conversation with herself. Finally, I send Liana to my apartment to get my raft and play in the deep end—far away from recently erratic woman.

Upon my relegating them to the deep end, she attempted to start a conversation with me. Asking me to come over to talk to her and other things she declares, loud enough that the kids hear, “My boobs are bigger than yours will ever be.” This statement offers so many problems. Obviously, there is no certainty in the statement, as medical advancement being what it is, I can always buy bigger breasts should I desire. Also, just because they are big doesn’t equate to them being admired or coveted.

Apparently, she wanted to prove her statement because the next time I looked over she was unholstered with her left tit and nipple resting in her armpit. Ok, now I alerted the management office where they were already aware of the incident but uncertain how to proceed plus concerned that she was passed out. A few minutes later the Manager came out and, assumedly, told her to pull up her bathing suit and go home. She sat for a good 10 minutes with her one piece around her waist cupping her breasts. The Manager spoke to her again and another 10 minutes later she pulled her top to cover herself and promptly passed out in her lawn chair.

Forty minutes later a member of the Costa Mesa Police Department arrived to wake her up and escort her home.

“Ma'am, pull you swim suit up.” “Can you please tie your swim suit?”

He then requested the Manager to assist him in walking her home as well as getting her dressed. The woman struggled to tie her black and white suit till someone came to her aid.

Eventually she managed to pull herself together to be escorted back to her second floor apartment.

This all happened before 4:00.

To quote 10-year old Liana, “That was better than a movie.”

I have been drunk, I have even passed out in a lawn chair; yet, the police have never escorted me home from the pool in my apartment complex. Has anyone ever witnessed anything like this?

Given my proclivity to document things on my cell camera, I was able to provide a brief photo essay of the whole event. Enjoy!

Also, this whole day made me appreciate Moobs