Expanding my Vocabulary

Recently I discovered an underutilized word in my personal lexicon. Now I cannot imagine life without it. When someone calls me and asks me to do something that will serve neither me nor anyone in my circle I employ this word. When someone thinks I will settle for less than I deserve I say this word.

Most likely it was one of the first words I ever learned, it is a super simple two-letter word, which might be one of the most powerful words in the any language.

N-O. No.

No, sorry I can’t.
No, sorry I won’t.
Sometimes just, “No.”

Stemming from discerning the newfound distinction of boundaries, I am developing a growing facility using the word no. Instead of accommodating, avoiding and appeasing my tongue finds its way to the roof of my mouth “N” followed by my lips rounding “O”
Not, “let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.” Then fretting how to decline. The letters form and the word pops out of my mouth.

More than just not being burdened and resentful, I am liberated every time I say it. Quite often I think the decisiveness, quickness and bluntness shocks the requestor.

I assert most people are afraid to say no without feigned regret and contrived explanations. Just no. If I simply, and politely, reject your request the conversation is closed. The delivery musty contain the subtext, “I am not open to a discussion or a negotiation.”

Everyday my limits get clearer and more obvious. I must care for myself and the people in my circle. By doing that I am able to focus on making a difference with those closest to me which will improve the quality of life for those around them and so on and so forth. For example, I am taking a course with a good friend whom asked me to dog sit. I said yes as she and her husband are my friends. Knowing the puppies are being well cared for they can tend to themselves this weekend ; which will in turn impact every person they encounter from hotel staff to parking attendants. That said, if another random person in the course heard I dog sit and asked me to take care of her pet I would say no as he/she is not in my circle.

For many men this is like, duh! Yet, the few women I have told about setting boundaries are blown away at the fact that they are not obliged to take care of every person, breakdown and issue.

I am hoping this topic will spark a conversation as it flies directly into the face of how many people look at the world, their roles and their obligations. I am interested to hear from you.

In the meantime, practice. No. N-O. No.


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