Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Stop Vomiting on Me.....

I recently had a few interactions that have left me thinking.

One friend, who thinks this blog and my observations about the people in the environment around me are mean, and I had an altercation about a comment she made. The remark itself was benign but it was the absoluteness of the criticism that upset me. As if what I find to be funny is “wrong” and I should have a different sense of humor. I do not particularly enjoy potty humor yet I would not judge one who does as immature.

I know this blog is often inane and a little catty; however people read it and the more ridiculous and mean it is the more people read it. The purpose of this blog is for me to share my unique and quirky view of the world with others and to have people READ IT. Moreover, I have at times shared myself really intimately in this blog. Those who know me well can concur I am not afraid to tell one on myself be it good bad or ugly. I have done my share of things about which if I witnessed I would blog; and get a few cocktails in me and I probably tell them proudly. I find enjoyment in people watching. I always have and I always will. I also never make fun of anyone I know without his or her permission.

Another friend has been pushing me to take an action that I repeatedly reject taking. I understand she means well. I also realize that what she is suggesting is something that worked well for her. I am simply choosing to take another course of action. One that serves me. She seems unwilling to consider that because something was right for her does not mean it is right for me.

What irritated me most that she was imposing her assessment of my situation and telling me what she wanted for me. As I said earlier, she means well; however her assertions as to how I feel are incorrect and she was indisposed to listen.

In both instances, I did not respond well; hence, I inquired into my reaction. Where they right? Why does this upset me?

For the first time in a long time I am finding my voice, learning to trust myself and being fully self-expressed. I am liberated from having to be a certain way, think a certain way and always trying to be perfect.

Are my some of my blog’s and Facebook status updates mean? Yes. Are they funny? Yes? Do you have to read them? No. Is THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY potty humor yes? Have I watched it? Not in it’s entirety. Do people really enjoy it? Yes.

Do I always do the right thing? No. Do I always know what I am doing? No. Is hindsight 20/20? Yes. Do I trust myself? Yes. Do I have powerful people from whom I can seek guidance? Yes. Do I utilize those people? Yes.

Lastly, an acquaintance came up to me to tell me that every time she sees me I remind her of her dominating sister and she has let that get in the way of getting to know me. Yep. That was all she said. She did not try to create an occasion to get to know me. She pretty much seemed to want to communicate that she thinks I am like her sister. Luckily, I do not care if she thinks I am a bitch or not; however, if I did I would have walked away from the interaction feeling badly about myself while she would have walked away feeling good about herself.

So quit vomiting you opinions of what I should do or how I should be. Said another way, I, as well as the other people in your life, do not need to know every thought that fires in your brain. Said yet another way, pick your battles wisely.

I am very interested in comments about the content of the blog. The subject matter itself. Not you opinion of the niceness or appropriateness of the blog cause that ain’t gonna change.

I am reminded of the lyrics in DEFYING GRAVITY from the hit musical WICKED…..

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:

8 comments:

  1. Ya, I think if ur asking for comments u don't get to say dictate what people are commenting on.

    And for christ sake I think the moobs are funny, it wasn't a criticism, I agreed with you.

    Brandi

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  2. @ Brandi, I think you missed the point of the blog....

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  3. Yeah, so putting yourself out there and getting yucky stuff back sucks.
    AND I have never had people comment much on my blog..so first off.. be glad that people are taking the time to comment! You are inciting something in them. That says something.
    Secondly, yeah, I get that you are pissed or annoyed or just not into the type of feedback you are getting.
    There is something there. They are saying it because they are committed to something and maybe, just maybe, they see that with your writing skills you can create without being mean.
    Sometimes its funny, yes, and being authentic about yourself is even funnier for us human beings...just don't make it all mean something and have it stifle your self expression. Cuz you rock the blog!

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  4. And it is not about the feedback of the blog it is about people freely vomiting thier opinions on me....

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  5. Ahh yes the unsolicited opinions....as a Mom I get so many...how to raise my kids...how long to nurse for...how to discipline. Those comments really do get stuck in my craw sometimes. Totally hear ya girl. And ya know... I know you are not really mean...just witty and insightfully straight with your observations...and people can take it however they want. Ok nuff said going to actually work now:) Keep writing!!!!

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  6. @ Zen, I can only imagine. No need to put your mind on speaker phone!

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